Don't start me off with an F

I remember when I was in school, a teacher saying to us as we entered the room that all of us were given an A; now, it is up to us to put in the work to maintain it. But, as an adult, a single woman, it seems as if the average man is walking around holding Fs and choosing the lucky woman who gets his F.

Why is it that a woman's love for a man is always and only tested by how much pain she can endure?

Reggae group Morgan Heritage sang this song entitled "She's Still Loving Me." and in this song, lead singers Peetah and Gramps, said "she's still loving me, though I've caused her so much pain, I've played around, time and time again, oh she's still loving me, even though I've made her cry, caused her many sleepless nights, so I had to make it right." I used to be singing along and dancing along with them, too, but did I listen to what they were actually saying?

AFTER this woman endured all the pain and embarrassment, cried all of those tears, gain or lost all of this weight, after all of that mess, you now here singing and bragging that she's still loving you? Sir, are you PROUD of yourself? And, for her staying and enduring and accepting all of your crap, her reward is that she gets to keep you, you are not leaving her for anything or anyone?

Questions, why start her off from the lowest grade possible? Why subject her to things that you wouldn't accept, tolerate, and forgive? Why not start her off with an A? Why not love her faithfully at first? Why not treat her with the same respect you want to receive from her? You are looking for a woman to accept and tolerate your crap the best? Are you looking for a woman or a septic system?

Men and women are different, that I know and agree with, but neither is more or less than the other; it's like two sides to the same coin or dollar; they are different, but they both carry the same value. Times have changed, and women today have options; being single is getting to be the new married, lol.

Do you think that women wake up every morning and say I want to get up and clean up after a grown man, cook for him, do his laundry while he completely ignores me? Listening and observing, many women have opted to be single; they are choosing themselves, instead of being with a man. Modern-day women prefer to be with men who see us as human beings, not machines. If we encounter a man who is looking for a maid and a personal chef, we are choosing to be single.

More and more of us are declining to be the strongest soldier, the ride or die, the one you are coming back to after leaving to go and cheat. We have a vision for our future, and being a septic system is not a part of that image at all, we are not trying to be the woman who still loving you after causing so much pain, we are not trying to be your final score after you've played around time and time again, we are not trying to be with any man that will disturb our sleep at night, we are not trying to be with a man that will cause us to cry rivers (unless we know you'll drown in it because you can't swim). We are no longer those women.

We are saying, we are not accepting any more Fs, you gotta match our As or leave us alone. Do not try to test our love by how much pain we will endure, how many tears we are willing to part with, how many nights we are willing to lose for you. We are no longer those women, because we won't be there to find out if we passed or failed.

Quit trying to manipulate women into accepting the things that you won't accept, We are going to speak up when we do not like something, we are not going to allow you to minimize our feelings because we are grateful to have you in our lives. Come correct the first time, bring your A game not only to get us but also to keep us, even a dog would either leave or bite you if they are not treated right, why should women accept this?

I strongly advise, if a woman gives you a chance, make it count because you may not get another one, if a woman's love for you is only measured by how much crap she accepts from you, then something is wrong with you and she too if she stays.

True love does not hurt, it should not be a reward at the end of a race or light at the end of the tunnel. The only unconditional love is God's, but not from human beings. How many songs from all genres are glorifying a woman's love being tested and verified this way, versus songs women sing about men's love being tested and tried? And some of these men are mad, BIG MAD, because women are choosing to be single, and live peacefully rather than accept Fs from men.

When you look at things from this perspective, being passed over by a guy, being rejected by a guy is not a bad thing after all. Sadly, oftentimes, her happiness will be short-lived, and she will spend the rest of that relationship trying to save face. He will pretend to give her an A, but when she least expects it, BOOM! There's the F, then in confusion, she will wonder and believe that she did something to earn that F, and work her way back up to an A, which she probably never will get.

While I am cognizant of the true fact that not all men are like this, however, the good ones are few in number, and sadly overlooked and passed over. Hopefully, one day we will all get it right and meet and choose each other. But in the meantime, in between time, don't be any man's ride or die or septic system, wait for the man that will bring you an A and challenge you to maintain it, a man that will know your worth and will treat you accordingly.

If you love and respect yourself without apology, do not accept mediocrity from any man; being alone, you know, is far better than having someone who will come home to you with pain. Stop accepting Fs.